"You Don't Look Like You Need A Man" & 4 Other Things Single Women Are Tired of Hearing

My inspiration for this post is the funny things that I've come across in the past few years. I think I've either seen or experienced the funniest and craziest comments being sent to single sisters - particularly ethnic ones. Here's my compilation of comments that single people hate hearing, and a little colorful commentary and pictures to go with each. Here we go!

5. You Know You Probably Should Be On Social Media Less, Stay Home More, Change Your Hair, Gain/Lose More Weight or otherwise change who you are. Then you'll get a Man.


Hmm...... I could do that, but I've observed that a lot of women are unhappily married, and I personally believe that the above has a lot to do with it. If you change yourself and pull all kinds of tricks to become something else all in the name of getting a man, then get him.......then guess what? You either have to keep playing that role unhappily, or have a couple blow ups down the line when you decide you want to be the real you. I think that's a little crazy. I've seen strippers, impulsive spenders and all types of people eventually find love without ever changing themselves into some image, so why should I? 

4. You're Too Picky and Don't Give Anyone A Chance. You Know, You'll Never Find A Perfect Man, You Can't Wait Forever. 


This is another interesting one. Just because someone is waiting, or even because they've waited for a number of years does not mean that they plan to wait forever, or to wait for a perfect person. The more interesting thing about this comment is that in most cases, the people who make these comments either know very little about you, or about how many people you've given a chance. All they know is your age, or time spent single and chop it up to you not giving anyone a chance. I consider talking a couple of times and/or going out on dates means giving someone a chance, and honestly I give many many chances and I know a lot of other single women who do as well.  It just takes longer for some women, but that doesn't automatically mean you're doing something wrong. Especially in this day and age where so many men are tarrying until almost 40 to get married........just sayin.

3. Religion, Culture, Height or "Whatever Is Important to You" shouldn't matter in a mate. You should bend to get a man.

I think this is amazing. Sometimes people will tell you that the things that you find most important shouldn't matter. I happen to think that religion in particular is actually the most important thing that any pair of people should agree on. A lot of people vaguely state that the only thing which matters is "shared values" but most people's values stem back to their religion, or lack thereof.  Also, finding a mate of the same culture doesn't matter to all people, but it does to some and in that case shouldn't be ignored. Many people either lie to themselves, or let other people feed them lies that it shouldn't matter. I've met older couples who are on their 2nd or 3rd marriages, and the final, lasting relationship was with someone within a rock's throw of their home village, and they were finally happy. I don't believe that there is anything wrong with inter-cultural dating and marriages. I know people who are very happy in them, but I think that's a personal decision that no one else should really try to convince you either way about. I'll also go on record and say I'm 5'8 and yes, I need a tall man. No, that's not in the Bible or anything, but that's what I need, and while people have tried to say all kinds of things to change my mind, I'm not changing my mind. I always feel weird when I'm in heels and in a room with really short people and literally towering over everyone else, but I feel like a normal person when other people are around within my height range. I definitely can not live with, and be happy with someone that I'm towering over all the time and who I'll have to toss all my fabulous heels for. Don't get it twisted, it's not about the other person, its about me not feeling like a tree. That might seem silly, but I went on that tangent just to show that everyone has their reasons for what they feel, and while everyone has to be flexible, there's a reason that people choose not to bend on the things that they don't want to bend on.

2. You Don't Look Like You Need A Man

I get this all the time. And its irritating. For starters, no, actually I don't need a man to come save me from my miserable life. My life is great, I'm educated, and doing my own thing for now. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to find love and have a family. I've had at least three people come to me this year and say that I'm one of those intimidating types......which initially made no sense, since I'm also the type to go out of MY way to say hi to everyone else in the room. Eventually I got a better explanation and it had everything to do with looking content with my life, being happy, having a career and paying my own bills. *sigh* I'm confused.

I met a group of really cool guys during a conference and decided to go to lunch with them. We spent about 90% of the time talking about gold digging chicks, how they feel like they can't find nothing but gold digging chicks, chicks looking at them like a meal ticket......yea, by now you get the point. I commented that they are on the hunting side of things, so if that's what they are getting, it must be what they are looking for, and of course got the shut down. Later that night, I observed two of the guys at the table networking with ladies.....and wow. Just wow. I felt like screaming DIDN'T WE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS?!?!?!? One of the guys somehow ended up in a corner with a real clear gold digger who was COMPLETELY swept off her feet by his career choice and cared nothing about the actual conference. And the second guy.....well honestly tried to pick me up through promises of expensive vacations and dinners. I wasn't with it, because I don't like feeling bought, and I didn't see any other actual substance to this dude - he also was there only for the evening networking. Men always say that they want an independent woman who sees them for who they are, regardless of what stage they are in life (in school, up and coming etc) but then turn around and are afraid of approaching those very women. And in even worse cases, they just chase chicks who want their checks. Its only logical that they should look for someone who primarily wants "the real" them, which you get from someone who isn't waiting for you to come start their lives for them. We women who "don't look like they need a man" are usually just waiting for a man who's actually taking this logical approach to courtship. Simple.


1. This Is Your Year. Your Wedding Will Be Next.

This, more than anything is funny to me. I've been to weddings where someone (usually older) grabbed me and prophesied that my wedding would be next. Um.......my friend at the next table is getting married in 2 months, and the idea of me getting married that quickly is actually terrifying. Not to mention that there are also many women who are intentionally waiting. I have a friend who doesn't want to be married until a few years into her thirties. Marriage is amazing, but many people just want a good marriage - not just an ASAP wedding. It's OK folks. A better prayer would be "in God's time" :)

So that's a little "laugh at my pain" Kevin Hart style rant, and I hope you enjoyed it and laughed a bit! And as usual I love to read your comments! Do share below, and share the article with others. Thanks!